From bob@dcs.qmw.ac.uk Sat May  8 17:31:38 1999
Date: 15 Mar 1995 19:16:06 GMT
From: Bob <bob@dcs.qmw.ac.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.gothic
Subject: Hey, am I a Goth?


Hello, I'm a janitor at MIT and I'm not sure if I'm a goth or
not. Could you PLEASE help me!!!!!!!

I'm sad and depressed all the time and I think I might be a vampire.
I sleep all day, can't stand bright light and my eye teeth look like
fangs.  I listen to Joy Division, Christian Death, Sisters of Marcy,
March Violets, Fields of the Nefilim, Skinny Puppy, The Mission, and
stuff like that all the time. I painted my jeep all black, even the
head lights and license plate! And I've got a kewl S&W .34 that I
painted black as well. It's got to be the most GOTH GUN
EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I met Andrew Eldrich at a really swank party and he told me I was the
most gothest person he ever met!!!  So does this make me a goth? I got
a prefect score on the goth test. So, I am looking for a cool goth
babe to have sex with me. I know they all want to, but I think I'm the
only goth in this city. That sux. All the goths I see are all poseurs
and just spend all the time asking "Is ____ gothic", sharing makeup
tips, and pretending to be vampires.  That's not gothic. In fact none
of you are goth either. The Sisters suck, stop being drepessed all the
time and get out and go to a ska show and dance your ass off. GET A
FUCKING LIFE!!!  I am the only goth in the world, and you are all
miserable trendy shits not worth to lick my 12 buckle pointy elf
boots!


The Lord Vamp LeSlutbat of Pain!

(Don't I have the kewlest, MOST original net 
name ever? I made it up all by myself!!!!!!)