From qpm@geocities.com Thu Apr 29 00:54:47 1999
Date: Sun, 22 Jun 1997 09:14:44 -0600
From: Agsts <qpm@geocities.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack, alt.gothic
Subject: Re: I'm A Native etc etcx

> >You're supposed to talk about cheese.

Were it not for the STEEL CLAMP attached to my FACE, I would be HAPPY to
talk about cheese. Yes lord, were I not FIX'D TO MY ROOTS, were not my
very LEGS incased in concrete, were not the fires of hell that fuel my
veins STAUNCH'D by an Unholy Miasma, were not ROPES PULLED BY OXEN
ATTACHED TO MY LIPS, were there no conspiracy of teeth and tongues at
war in my mouth, were not G I Joe alive and well in America, with laser
beems controlling my vocal passages, were there no Direct Order from
Bill Clinton's Grandpa not to EVER let me talk on alt.gothic, yes Lord
if the LAWS OF MOTHER SCIENCE HERSELF NOT AFFIXED AGAINST MY WILL, yes
were I not BUSY, were not a veritable SEA of Ninjas POISED at my brow,
their million-odd knives trembling with anticipation should I utter a
SINGLE WORD about Their Processed Majesties, were A J not ORDERING ME,
THREATENING me with TOTAL CELLULAR DEATH if I do not GO TO BED
IMMEDIATELY, I would be GUSHING with entire TRIBUTARIES AND SEAS of JOY
to talk about cheese, but Lord, defend me, I am afeard and cannot live
of move or breathe nor certainly say one piece of a letter of a word
about any form of cheese.


-qpm