From Medakse@concentric.net Thu Apr 29 02:07:38 1999 Date: Sun, 18 Jan 1998 20:42:42 -0800 From: Twilight Newsgroups: alt.gothic Subject: the fortress in my heart crumbled Everyone has a fortress in their heart that they build from pain, and >from happiness. With every "I hate you" it gets bigger, and with every "I love you." Well, the fortress in my heart has crumbled, and I don't even have a little lean-to to keep out the rain. I thought my happiness was enough for the both of us. I blinded myself by thinking nothing was wrong. I should have known better. It's always darkest before the dawn, but I also believe the sky gets brilliant before the darkness settles over. That's kind of like what happened. It got brilliant, then bam, nothingness surrounding me and enveloping me now. And I am at school, so I'm in a dry parish. I can't even get liquor to wash away the pain. I'm crying right now, and the tears are clouding my eyes, I can barely see the keyboard to type. So I think I'll go now. I probably won't be on alt.gothic much in the next week or so. I need to remember what it's like to be single again. I had forgotten you realize. I had also forgotten what loneliness felt like. I need to rediscover it, and learn what it is to have someone that you love, and who says they still love you, not being here with me because he needs space. He needs time to himself. And what hurts the most? He was perfect for me. And I still love him. Whips and Kisses--- Twilight -- *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* "I live, I die, I burn, I drown - I endure at once chill and cold Life is at once too soft and too hard - I have sore troubles mingled with joys...Thus I suffer love's inconsistencies" -Labe Midnight's Child: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/2052/