From squirrelly@twisted.org.SpamThingy.uk Thu Apr 29 01:44:24 1999 Date: Fri, 3 Oct 1997 22:38:49 +0000 From: timmie Newsgroups: alt.gothic Subject: Alt.gothic The Game [tm] - Chapter Two... [long] Bored again... the very scary thing is.. that i sort of got the heebeejeebee's when writing this as i realised just how true some of it really is... *shudder*... Chapter Two... Skylls and Abylyties... Well... let's face it.. with the previos catagories... all players would be pretty bland without at least something to give them that little spark of something that creates a true individual... and for this.. we have skylls and abylyties... You may choose as many of these skylls as you wish.. and if you take a whole passle of really keen ones which makes you increadably capable.... well.. dammit... karma will catch up withyou sometime buster.... Skylls and abylyties break down into several sections... as will be blatently obvious so i couldn't be bothered explaining all about them... though i will say that all skills are available in three levels... poor.. good.. and excessive.. the last of which is often a severe disadvantage.. as will become evident... Internet social skylls Wit - the astounding ability to actually post something which makes people laugh.... no i mean _really_ 'spray the monitor with ingested fluid' style laughter... a rare talent indeed.... levels... poor - 'once in a blue moon' good - 'every now and again' excessive - 'and oh my god i can't read this anymore without wetting myself'.... Cuddlyness - As odd as it seems... this is a trait which seems to be much sought after... it pertains to the amount of cuteness in the post which has the effect of giving all readers the impression they are with their favourite gundy.. ie... that totally irrational (and oh so ungoth) urge to cuddle them endlessly... Levels... poor - a rather fetching little *giggle* every now and again... Good - a heartfelt *blush* as the need arises... excessive - an annoying *impishgrin* after everthing where a smiley would adequitly suffice... Inspirational Loyalty - through whatever means.. a character with this skill has managed to garner the support of a large body of other characters and Non-Player Characters... whether through consistant usage of an internet social skyll... or through some other consistant behaiviour like.. umm.. adopting a certain subset of characters (sorry Marcus).. Levels.... poor - someone will anonymously support you in something unpopular.. Good - A general roasting will be given to any who troll you.. Excessive - a rather large virtual lynch mob will form on any dissent >from your way of thinking... General Likeability - With this skill one simply seems to bever actually say anything which someone can take offence at... a smiley is always placed just so to take the edge off things... and the general impression of a peacemaker is assumed in all flamewars, even if the intent was to flame... Levels... poor - No one will flame when you accidently post mail then apologize.. Good - a good idea you suggest will be taken quite seriously and often acted apon by a vast majority... Excessive - no one will feel quite comfortable actually saying anything against you... and any argument your in will fall falt due to lack of 'fire and brimstone' fervour... Internet Antisocial Skylls [NB: Trolls _must_ possess some internet antisocial skylls] Button Pushing skill - a character with this elusive skill hold the key to others psyche... and they know it... the calmest coolest fence sitter will suddenly become a rabid frothy thing before the skyll of a master button pusher.. an extremely dangerous skyll indeed. [game masters take note]... Levels... poor - every now and then you manage to set someone off good - if it gets to the nitty gritty... you know who'll look the angry cantankerous one... and it won't be you... Excessive - people will angrily flame a 'me too' post you do.. because of it's obnoxious content.... Extreme Sarcasm - A wonderfully useful skyll in the right hands.... coupled with the "wit" skyll it can prove quite effective in all aspects of gameplay... though coupled with the "know it all" skyll it can often give you the same effect as the "button pusher" skyll... Levels... Poor - "Oh.. _Are_ you now?" Good - "Oh.. you're only a _500_ year old Vampire" Excessive - "Oh.. But of course you _knew_ we'd say that with you "mystic evil psychic powers" didn't you?".. general crabbiness - Some Characters just have the right side of the bed against the wall.. this sort of ranges a vast spectrum from general cattiness.. to tactical thermonuclear abuse... Levels... poor - "well fuck you then" good - "fortunately for you.. there happens to be quite quite a calling for inconsequential shitbags in this world" Excessive - "I'M FUCKING SICK OF YOUR ATTITUDE YOU FUCKING CUNT".. (pardon.. i'm sadly lacking in this level of ability and find a convincing demonstration rather weak... *sigh*).. homo/geno/gothophobia - for wildly varying reasons... these characters _hate_ a group of people deliniated by certain clues... this group must be chosen at the begging of the game... and must be easily identifyable... and subject to extreme stereotypical behavior.. (ie.. hating those eyeliner wearing gays... or hating those eyeliner wearing goths).. Levels... Poor - "All pantywearing faggots should die" Good - "All pantywearing faggots should die" Excessive - "All pantywearing faggots should die" (err... did you notice the subtle differences there?...) blatent tenacity - These characters will.. doggedly hang onto a belief or view... in the face of an obscene amount of fact laid bare before them... Levels.... Poor - you give in... eventually... Good - when the facts become too obviously against... it is revealed that you were siply "playing the devils advocate" Excessive - fact's actually never need to have been published.. in fact based on these facts i have for glassmaking production i can draw the obvious earthworm fatality statistics.. Intellect Skylls Logic - the facts are everything to such a character... given a post.. one can deduce the posters age.. sex.. undewear... level of educational influence.. nuber of star trek episodes watched.. and theories can be made on the persons place in the new world order... Levels... Poor - you still haven't got the underwear bit down pat.. Good - You can pat the underwear quite often.... Excessive - you also know whose patting the underwear and how often... level headedness - No matter how often this character has insults made about their mother wearing Nike's.. they don't flinch.. and maintain the calm rational character they always were... Poor - you can take anything... but the teddybear jokes... Good - the insults roll off you like nutella off a d*cks back (of course assuming said d*ck actually didn't _want_ the nutella there).... Convincing Tone - this is that ability to take speak with a firm assurance that all other characters finds quite believable... spammers _may not_ take this ability.... Levels... Poor - you could almost convince people SoM is goth... Good - You could even convince people goth started in Australia... Excessive - Given time.. you could convince Andrew Eldritch he was goth... Know it all - Characters with this ability are presumed to have gone to seventy different universities worldwide and held highly paid proffesional positions in most feild known to man... Levels... Poor - You're still not sure about laws of relativity.... Good - You're relatively certain of how laws of relativity work Excessive - You actually have some new theories on irrelativaty Absurdity - Ok.. so it's hardly a Intellect Skyll... but i sort of gave up on the section to which it belonged... i'm sure you'll all cope somehow... Levels.... Poor - "yeah.. that was really good.. er... fish" Good - "Yeah.. that was fishily good" Excessive - "Fish squibble scrat flobbly".. Computer Skylls [note: Newbies may not possess Computer Skylls] Spam/troll Hunter - a character possesing this skyll atually knows what to do in case of spam/troll.. where the class panel is... and the hammer to break it with.... Levels... Poor - your complaints sometimes actually reach the postmaster Good - you get responces and occasionally heads back from the postmaster Excessive - the posters computer smoulders a moment.. then suddenly explodes.. spraying thousands of death dealing shards which not only kill all in the vicinity.. but also seek out and castrate the parents of the person responsable... [Authors note: i actually wish there were more of this latter kind... *sigh*] Cypher - your character somehow has the ability to read strings of seeming gibberish as they appear on the screen in fromt of them.... and are consequently a big hit at parties... Levels... Poor - you actually know what all the headers mean.... Good - unix is your friend.... Excessive - binaries look better on the pure alphanumeric form... Omnicience - for some uncanny reason characters with this ability see to be everwhere at once... and answer all comments even hinting at them.... Levels... Poor - you read usenet _waaaaay_ to much.. Good - you can grep with the best of them... Excessive - er... Sexbat?... A.G.S-F - this character has been initiated into the sooper sekrit organization of the alt.gothic.special-forces... Levels... Poor - you realize that all readers play a part as members Good - you realize that it's really just a loose collection of regulars who like to keep the place clean... Excessive - you've actually found the elusive inner level of the a.g.s-f... th^^&&**88** ..... NO CARRIER