From blackskl@interlog.com Sat May 8 17:13:00 1999 Date: Wed, 1 Mar 1995 06:49:11 LOCAL From: Dean Blackskull Newsgroups: alt.gothic Subject: Re: pissing off rednecks I find that it's usually pretty easy to piss off rednecks by threatening their sexuality. To illustrate my point, here's a story from about 1990 or so. Situation: stuck in traffic in downtown Vancouver, due to some big fireworks display that caused all of the suburbanites to be downtown at once. This was also at about the same point as the Gay Games (some sort of olympic-games style thing aimed at people of a certain sexual orientation). Us: a car full of four people who had good taste in how they made themselves look. And no, I refuse to use the 'g' word here. Them: a jeep chock full o' rednecks. What happened: Okay, so the rednecks, of course, being rednecks (probably from Surrey - which brings to mind the second story, which you can read after this one if you choose), started making fun of the four people who quite obviously had a better sense of aesthetics. This, of course, prompted me to yell, "HEY GUYS! In town for the Games?" Which of course, caused two of said rednecks to jump off the back of the jeep, after, of course, the token 15 second gap in which they figured out what I actually meant. They came running after the car, yelling, "Hey, FUCK YOU, man!" Second story (August 1994): Background: Surrey is a suburb of Vancouver, which, well, is basically FILLED with rednecks and other assorted white trash. Us: five net.goths returning from Vampire Gabrielle's party in Buffalo. In a 1994 Oldsmobile Achieva rental car, piloted (yes, we did fly, literally) by friendly mr. blackskull. The car with the ABS light that would not turn off due to a few too many full-lock stops and a little off-roading. But that's another story. Location: on the QEW about an hour away from Toronto, which is approximately 4600km from Surrey. Them: rednecks in an old, trashed-as-fuck late '70s Chrysler Cordoba, with baseball caps lined up in the back window, and it had B.C. license plates (B.C. being the province in which Surrey is located). What happened: Todd says, "Hey Dean, it looks like these guys are from Surrey!" and laughs. Lightbulb goes on above mr. blackskull's head. mr. blackskull then pulls up beside said car, rolls down the window and yells, "HEY! Are you guys from SURREY?" What ensued was a 160 km/h car chase, weaving in and out around four lanes of heavy traffic. We won, of course, because I know how to drive. End of story. blackskull entertainment capital of the world