From marc69@bga.com Sat May 8 16:12:39 1999 Date: 15 Oct 1994 05:42:46 -0500 From: Marc Savlov Newsgroups: alt.gothic Subject: "WINNIE-THE-GOTH" PART 7 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "WINNIE-THE-GOTH" PART VII ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- IN WHICH... Winnie-the-Goth and Piglet Darkswine Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Piglet Darkswine lived in a terrifically grand house in the middle of very large Venus Fly-Trap, and the Fly-Trap was in the middle -- in the very darkest part, mind you -- of the forest, and Piglet (Pig, for short) lived in the middle of the house, in an eternally unbroken penatangle marked on four sides by little gooey bits of GodKnozWhat and old Halloween candycorn wrappers. Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had "PISS OFF" on it. When Christopher Sexbat asked the Pig what it meant, he said it was his grandfather's name and had been in the family for a long time. Christopher Sexbat wanted to say that you COULDN'T be called Piss Off, and Piglet Darkswine said, yes, you could, because it was short for "Pissy, Officious & Frankly Fuk'ed," which was more or less how everyoned had referred to his grandfather, whether he was around to hear or not. "I've got two names," said Christopher Sexbat carelessly. "Well, there you are, that proves it," said Piglet Darkswine. One fine winter's day, when Pig was brushing away the snow from in front of his house, he happened to look up, and there was the devil. "No, I'm mistaken, it's just Winnie-the-Goth standing there," he muttered, wiping the sleep from his beady little red eyes that glowed unpleasantly every time someone mentioned the work "asparagus." Winnie-the-Goth was walking round and round in a circle, thinking of something else, and when Pig called to him, he just went on walking. "Hallo!" said Piglet Darkswine. "What are you DOING?" "Hunting," said Winnie-the-Goth. "Hunting what?" "Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Goth, very mysteriously, as was his habit. "Tracking what?" queried Pig, coming closer. "That's just what I ask myself. I ask myself, WHAT?" "What do you think you'll answer?" "I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Goth. "Now, look here," he said, and pointed to the snow-covered ground in front of him. "What do you see here?" "Tracks," said Piglet Darkswine. "Paw-marks." He gave a little sqeuak of excitment that could've passed for the sound a Tulip might make when you plucked it from the ground. "Oh, Winnie-the-Goth, do you think it's a, a WOOZLE?!" "It may be," said the goth. "Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't. You never can tell with paw-marks." "Never?" asked Piglet Darkswine inquisitively. "Well, almost," replied Winnie-the-Goth. "If there's blood and crushed bits of Pez candy in the hollows, you can tell a net.goth's been by of late." Piglet Darkswine almost hiccuped himself six-feet-under at this startling revalation. *hic* "But, Winnie--" he said, but couldn't continue, because a rapid-fire barage of hiccups overwhelmed him and make it sound like he was speaking in Flemmish. With a blush on his piggy little cheeks he kept quiet and followed Winnie-the-Goth, who had come to a sudden stop, and was bending over the tracks in a puzzled sort of way. "What's the matter?" asked Piglet Darkswine. "It's a very funny thing," said Winnie-the -Goth, "but there seem to be TWO animals now. This--whatever-it-was--has been joined by another -- whatever-it-is -- and the two of them are now proceeding in company..." "*hic* Do you think it's Paul and Al from 1000 Acre Ministry? *hic*" asked Piglet Darkswine. "I don't know," said Winnie-The-Goth, "but would you mind coming with me in case they turn out to be Hostile Animals, or, worse, evil Maytag Repairmen with a burning desire to fix our spin-cycles?" Piglet Darkswine scratched his ear in a nice sort of way, and said that he had nothing to do until Friday (but after that, he was roadying for the Bad Seeds, and was all booked up 'til March seeing as how Blixa had trouble fastening his leathers these days), and would be delighted to come, in case it really was a Woozle, or a Revenooer with his eyes on Winnie-the-Goth's secret stash of Neat Gothey Stuff. "You mean, in case it really is two Woozles," said Winnie-the-Goth, and Piglet Darkswine reiterated that he had nothing to to do until Friday. So off they went together. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- end of part 7 -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- HIGH: Eileen, Faith, Lisa, Graham, Laura, Trebor, Nic, Angel, Christina, CVSXBAT, Jon, and all the net.goths who're going to New Orleans for All Hallows. (now, who's floor can I crash on already? c'mon! *snivel*) ;p....m69